Love letter 2: In Rememrance

Disclaimer: I did not write this. I've edited it, a bit.

You know, I both love and hate when I get things like these from you. I am filled with a level of joy that is hard to describe at the thought of you thinking of me and keeping me near your heart. In the same breath, I am filled with sorrow for this also because it is a reminder of the situation that we are in. 

The situation and all the frustration that goes along with it. 

Nevertheless, I refuse to be truly down trodden over these things. Instead I hold on to the joy element of it. Darling, the joy that you bring to me is amazing. 

I love you in your simplest moments, and in the moments when you leave me speechless. 

I think of you always. I think of you looking up at me. I think of your smile. This is what gets me through my day. Once you came into my life in a meaningful way, it was always your smile that pushed me on. 

I sit here in this town that is cold and gray and I often feel the same, but the thought of you is light to me. A light that shines through darkness and comforts me. I Love You Darling. My love for you is as great as the distance from east is to west. 

You know I realized that I enjoy seeing A. I also had a chance to see I but was unable to. I enjoy seeing these people and all of the friends that we shared not solely because they are friends but because they are a connection to you. When they are near, you feel just a little closer. I often wondered why I was able to go by your apartment building and not feel a painful tug and pull at my heart. I realize now that it is because that building only holds wonderful memories for me. I have not one sad time within those walls. That is 100% completely due to you. I have begun to take what at one time might have hurt me emotionally and instead used it to remind myself that you are without a doubt, the most amazing and beautiful creature that I have ever know. 

My passion runs deep but my love runs deeper still. So I ask you to not find sorrow in the memory of us. 

Instead I ask you to rejoice. 

Be glad that if nothing else you are loved so well. Appreciate my love and I will not break. This I am sure of. I Love You Darling. 

XOXO.

Love letter 1: I Miss

Disclaimer: I did not write this. I've just edited a bit.

I miss that little dot to the right of your right eye. I miss you rolling over to look at me and ask why we aren't banging. I miss you walking around in your gray and white sleeping shirt. I miss watching you pick out an outfit. I miss you being shy and bashful about your beautiful body. I miss looking in your fridge full of food and not finding anything I want because its all diet, lite, or sugar free. I miss how you were down for anything and would just pick up and go if the mood struck you. I miss just sitting there looking at you while we said nothing. I miss your tiny smile. I miss you demanding things of me that I am all to happy to do for you. I miss being with you. I miss the anticipation I felt between while I waited for you to throw me down the keys and when I was finally standing in your presence. I miss you telling me you're perfect. I miss the smell of you when you haven't showered yet. I miss you tolerantly smiling at the things I excitedly show you. I miss you teaching me foreign words. I miss your shoe collection. I miss you cooking delicious food for me. I miss taking you out to eat. I miss having you on my arm in public. I miss making other men envious of me when you are with me. I miss eating chalupas. I miss your loud ass computer. I miss not worrying about being late to something because I was just happy to have more time alone with you. I miss you insisting that all that crap food in your fridge is actually good. I miss your music. I miss that you put up with my music. I miss you singing me "nom nom". I miss the small of your back desperately. I miss you smooshing my face while you call me an ugly mush face. I miss how you make me feel like I can do anything even if I argue about it. I miss you telling me about your past. I miss the way you wrap your leg around mine while we were together. I miss the way you pull me closer to you just before you climax. I miss taking you in visually while I chug water after sex. I miss how you act towards the things you love. I miss all the smart things you say. I miss your jokes. I miss sitting by a fire with you. I miss you. I miss you so much PunK. I miss you so much.

Love, Ugly Mush Face

Not Tonight

 Tuesday, 22nd December 2015, 9:30pm

I'm weak tonight
Not a fight
Left in me.

If you have a bone to pick
May I suggest next week?

I promise
I'll scream my lungs out
I'll even
Throw in
a cry.
But, not tonight.

Don't tell me your demons.
I care,
I swear!
I do!

But will you don steel for me?
Will you sharpen your sword?
Will you be brave and kind?
Will you fight?
No?
Then forgive me.
I cannot.
Sit here and pretend
That I have more love for you
Than I have for me.

I need to go change
Put on my rusty armor,
Be my own knight
And save
Me.

4 a.m.

That kiss

Sense less,
Death of an innocence.

Your teeth
My neck.

Bite marks
South bound,
Down straight.

Here's to a
First date.

4 a.m.

Bottom of a
bottle of
Cheap red.